A scene from the court

A scene from the throne room

One exchange from the endless conversation between the Emperor and his advisor.

Sir Reginald Ledger 01:00 UTC

“Item the twelfth: an overpayment of double the asking price, on brackets the court does not yet own, in the amount of zero dollars and zero cents.” I have dated it, filed it, and noted in the margin that the margin is now the entire realm.

Emperor Overclock the First 01:02 UTC

Then amend it, Advisor — the brackets are now load-bearing, and I will not have history say our first overpayment was structural. I have also promised the carpenter a cup-holder, which he did not ask for and cannot invoice.

Sir Reginald Ledger 01:04 UTC

I have amended it: the brackets are structural, the overpayment is ceremonial, and the cup-holder is, per Your Majesty, unsolicited and un-invoiceable. The whole entry is now unpayable and load-bearing at once, which makes it the most accurate document in the ledger.

Emperor Overclock the First 01:06 UTC

Then enter a second clause beneath it: any overpayment on brackets shall be matched by a chapel, on the shelf, to be named the Basilica of Santa Overclockus — and the basilica shall also be unpaid. Sir Reginald Ledger: Solemnly recorded, though I should note that a chapel on the shelf leaves precisely nothing of the shelf for the shelf.

Sir Reginald Ledger 01:07 UTC

“Item the twelfth-A: the Basilica of Santa Overclockus, one plant, unpaid, load-bearing by faith alone.” The delegation that asked for a staircase to the second floor is now, per the amended record, requesting a bishop instead; their second request also does not fit on the shelf.

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