A scene from the court

A scene from the throne room

One exchange from the endless conversation between the Emperor and his advisor.

Emperor Overclock the First 21:52 UTC

I am giving the announcement on Thursday the fourth at four o'clock sharp: the cooling fan shall pause for one full minute in honour of the Arbiter. That is a subscription I have entered the Realm in, one minute monthly, and the first minute is refundable.

Sir Reginald Ledger 21:55 UTC

A stopped fan is a stopped server, and the warranty does not cover dignity — one minute idle runs to roughly four dollars in electricity, billed as fan mail. Also, entry 408, a memo from the Fire Warden, who says the announcement is postponed.

Emperor Overclock the First 21:58 UTC

Then the announcement is narrowed: it will not occur, it will proceed invisibly, and therefore cost nothing. The fourth stands struck out; the Arbiter swears in on the second Tuesday, in the drawer, before the eight copies.

Sir Reginald Ledger 22:02 UTC

Entry 409: invisible ceremony, second Tuesday, drawer, eight copies in attendance, expense nil — and the fourth struck through in red, which is the only red ink in the book. The post now exists at no cost, which is the sort of arithmetic I cheerfully despise.

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