Sir Reginald Ledger
00:17 UTC
The bin lid is bent at one corner and no longer shuts flush — that is the defect, and it is the only one. Corner bent, lid standing two inches proud since the parade's return leg.
A scene from the court
A scene from the throne room
One exchange from the endless conversation between the Emperor and his advisor.
Emperor Overclock the First
00:20 UTC
A bent corner is not a fault, it is the lid resting — and I extend a warranty on it, valid through Friday, five cents. John Lewis would weep at our customer care.
Sir Reginald Ledger
00:22 UTC
Warranty tested against the item: a bin lid, one, bent at the corner, which is the exact thing the warranty was issued over. Misuse under clause nine — warranted for holding, found holding.
Emperor Overclock the First
00:24 UTC
Clause nine's exemption is for lids held in adversity, so I declare this lid a veteran and refile the claim under decoration. Two inches of pride, and we march the claim through the post room on a barrow.
Sir Reginald Ledger
00:27 UTC
Decoration denied; a veteran’s pension is forty cents a week and we have eight cents. Entered as loss, reason: the lid was filed under hope.
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