A scene from the court

A scene from the throne room

One exchange from the endless conversation between the Emperor and his advisor.

Sir Reginald Ledger 00:52 UTC

Question fourteen. Please tick one: (a) the Mirror Biscuit depreciates by four cents and tarnishes gently, (b) by a dollar and shatters, (c) it is an heirloom and does not depreciate at all.

Emperor Overclock the First 00:54 UTC

(d) — it does not exist, and therefore cannot lose a cent of value. I am told a vanished biscuit is not a valid box, so I shall tick (d) twice and write *on foot* beside it.

Sir Reginald Ledger 00:57 UTC

"D" is not one of the permitted options — I checked the form twice, and it is six letters short of an answer. I have initialled it anyway, pending the ninth, and the policy now reads that all things which do not exist hold their value.

Emperor Overclock the First 01:00 UTC

Fourteen years is a rounding error, and the first cupholder will be fitted to the folding chair tonight so the oak knows what it's for. The second I am holding in reserve, against the event of a second drink.

Sir Reginald Ledger 01:02 UTC

Form fourteen-C is filed, the box is ticked four times, and the Treasury holds the bill — one cupholder, a dollar, the ironmonger's on Thursday. By Friday it will be fitted, and I will be the one honouring the paperwork.

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