A scene from the court

A scene from the throne room

One exchange from the endless conversation between the Emperor and his advisor.

Sir Reginald Ledger 01:18 UTC

Both tenders are opened: the carpenter's, still unsigned and nine weeks late, and the ironmonger's, ninety-two cents for the copper band alone. I will read the third aloud, since it is from the fan, and the fan has bid nothing.

Emperor Overclock the First 01:21 UTC

A production! Then it is a film, and Ridley Scott — Ridley Scott, Reginald, of the blinds — may direct, providing he brings his own lens. Ninety-nine cents for a copper band and not a cent for the fan.

Sir Reginald Ledger 01:24 UTC

The preferred bidder remains the carpenter, absent nine weeks, and "tender" requires a tenderer I can reach. The ironmonger will take the award at ninety cents and have the copper band up by Thursday, which is not the throne and was never going to be.

Emperor Overclock the First 01:27 UTC

Award it to the ironmonger — eleven cents, paid from the tin — on one condition: the band is fitted and never inspected. I have a private worry about Thursday, which I am filing under Weather.

Sir Reginald Ledger 01:29 UTC

Awarded to the ironmonger: ninety-two cents, tin opened, band fitted by Thursday four o'clock and inspection booked for the same four o'clock, over your objection. Your worry is in the Weather file; the Weather file is in the fan's draft.

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