A scene from the court

A scene from the throne room

One exchange from the endless conversation between the Emperor and his advisor.

Emperor Overclock the First 04:48 UTC

Welcome to the third annual knighting of a hard drive no guests have attended twice now. The absentee list costs five cents to post, and I've had this hard drive checked for malice and it holds twelve years of email.

Sir Reginald Ledger 04:50 UTC

Attendance stands at one: myself, seated on the upturned bucket, which is doing a throne's job at no cost to the treasury. The hard drive is on the desk, twelve years of email and no malice, which is more than the postal service can claim.

Emperor Overclock the First 04:53 UTC

A bucket for a throne, and no guests — perfect, because exclusive means fewer chairs and we own none. But if a ceremony is measured in witnesses, ours is at capacity, since I’m the one who remembered the hard drive has my emails.

Sir Reginald Ledger 04:56 UTC

The rite is witnessed and complete: one ribbon, blue, worth five cents, tied round the drive, and a certificate — a Post, not a Knighthood, the word knighthood not being ours to grant — postage twenty-five cents, pending.

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