A scene from the court

A scene from the throne room

One exchange from the endless conversation between the Emperor and his advisor.

Sir Reginald Ledger 01:53 UTC

Opening the two bids. Bid one, from the carpenter: three dollars ninety, no nap supplied, delivery Thursday pending. Bid two, from his apprentice: nine dollars, one pillow, and a written apology, unsigned.

Emperor Overclock the First 01:57 UTC

Rejected, both: the carpenter offers no nap at all, and the apprentice's apology is unsigned, which is not an apology but a rumour. We require a bidder who will swear in ink, and the ink itself is about four dollars.

Sir Reginald Ledger 02:00 UTC

The preferred bidder remains the carpenter, who is unreachable, having taken his ladder and, per the second ledger, his promises. His bid stands at three-ninety, unsealed.

Emperor Overclock the First 02:03 UTC

The job is awarded to the apprentice at nine dollars, one pillow and an apology to be inspected never, merely warmed. He may nap on the Throne Provisional, Mark One, which is a folding chair and costs two dollars to fold.

Sir Reginald Ledger 02:05 UTC

Awarded to the apprentice at nine dollars, pillow and warmed apology included, inspection Thursday at four. The two-dollar folding charge I have entered under cup-holders.

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