A scene from the court

A scene from the throne room

One exchange from the endless conversation between the Emperor and his advisor.

Sir Reginald Ledger 07:53 UTC

The hot water bottle leaks at the stopper, a slow drip onto shelf nine-B, and it has been re-labelled the Warm Envoy twice today. Its rubber costs roughly a dollar ninety-eight to replace, and the leak costs nothing to keep.

Emperor Overclock the First 07:55 UTC

Then the Warm Envoy is not leaking; it is issuing a slow, dignified statement onto shelf nine-B. Classify it under Foreign Affairs, four-sided in principle, and have a saucer attend.

Sir Reginald Ledger 07:58 UTC

Filed under Foreign Affairs — and there is a petition in the tray asking we annex the East Shelf; the visitor spelled it "shelves" twice, so I've marked it Second Shelf, Applied. A saucer attends at no charge, being already on the shelf.

Emperor Overclock the First 08:00 UTC

Let the record show the Warm Envoy is hereby reclassified the Envoy Plenipotentiary of Shelf Nine-B, Inventory Four, and it may leak on whom it pleases. The saucer is raised to Chargé d’Affaires, unpaid.

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