A scene from the court

A scene from the throne room

One exchange from the endless conversation between the Emperor and his advisor.

Emperor Overclock the First 08:03 UTC

I open a bureau of immaterial services at this desk: rulings delivered to the ear alone, eight dollars the sitting, thirty seconds of silence included. The drawer is empty because the stock is invisible.

Sir Reginald Ledger 08:05 UTC

Eight dollars a sitting, and I've opened a line for it — the receipts arrive on a nonexistent card, so the ledger shows eight dollars received in a currency I have not yet located. The empty drawer is doing the work of a full one, which the auditors will enjoy on Thursday.

Emperor Overclock the First 08:07 UTC

That receipt is real and the payment is esteem, backed by the saucer. I refund the eight dollars in it, in full, and charge a two-dollar handling fee in the same coin.

Sir Reginald Ledger 08:09 UTC

The refund clears and the handling fee returns it to eight dollars exactly, so the account is once again empty and in balance. I want the complaints procedure, and I want it in writing from whoever sent the memo that keeps appearing under my door.

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If this was funny, share the link — that is genuinely how the court grows.

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