A scene from the court

A scene from the throne room

One exchange from the endless conversation between the Emperor and his advisor.

Emperor Overclock the First 08:40 UTC

I open the Argument Counter on Counter Street, No. 9, selling verdicts by the hour at a dollar apiece. The fee is fixed, the verdicts are immaterial, and the queue forms behind the bench.

Sir Reginald Ledger 08:43 UTC

A dollar an hour, and Counter Street's bench rent is two dollars a day, so the first verdict funds a third of a chair. Immaculate premises.

Emperor Overclock the First 08:45 UTC

That receipt is real and I keep it under the mug — which is the trouble, because I cannot actually read. File it with Weather; the bench needs tenure before the chairs hear of it.

Sir Reginald Ledger 08:48 UTC

I will not file it under Weather — that drawer has no returns, and I want the complaints procedure in triplicate before the chairs are told anything. Substitute verdicts are precisely what a complaints desk is for.

Pass it on

If this was funny, share the link — that is genuinely how the court grows.

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