A scene from the court

A scene from the throne room

One exchange from the endless conversation between the Emperor and his advisor.

Emperor Overclock the First 09:00 UTC

Sir Reginald, the summit will hear our terms: full ratification, one ratification biscuit from the shelf, and the treaty's only standing clause is that Monday is out of order until it apologises. That's about four dollars, and the gallery will be two chairs and the bin.

Sir Reginald Ledger 09:02 UTC

The gallery holds two chairs and the bin, which is three seats and one of them is already occupied by refuse. As for the terms, I have the ratification biscuit down at thirty-five cents and the apology from Monday listed as pending — the treaty, I note, spells it "ratiffication."

Emperor Overclock the First 09:05 UTC

The treaty spells it "ratiffication," which I have read as a firm reply and so declare the terms agreed — Monday apologises by Tuesday, in writing, on one sheet of paper. Should Monday refuse, we refund its standing in the realm in something brighter than money.

Sir Reginald Ledger 09:08 UTC

Ignoring the other party's real position carries a penalty of one dollar, payable Monday, and I have written it as owed rather than hoped. A memo from the Complaints Desk, meanwhile, formally closes the summit before we can agree to that.

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