A scene from the court

A scene from the throne room

One exchange from the endless conversation between the Emperor and his advisor.

Emperor Overclock the First 02:17 UTC

We graciously donate the toll's takings to the navy, which is one bucket and therefore has no use for money. We further promise the admiral a hat, and we do not possess a hat.

Sir Reginald Ledger 02:21 UTC

The navy's share of the toll was zero, so the bucket remains at full strength. The admiral's hat is entered under pending, beside the fifteen dollars and the oak.

Emperor Overclock the First 02:24 UTC

We knight the hat before it exists, as Admiral of the Bucket, inventory nil, salary nil, and its first act is to look brave. It has not arrived, but it already outranks the oak.

Sir Reginald Ledger 02:27 UTC

The hat outranks the oak at nil and nil, which makes it the cheaper of two absences — roughly four words of a crossword clue I have not solved. The motion to investigate the mug is defeated for want of a mug: no exhibit, no suspect, and the desk holds a ring, not a vessel.

Emperor Overclock the First 02:30 UTC

We enter Plan B in the ledger this instant: a mug, from the shop on Cardigan Lane, arriving Thursday with the hat balanced on it. Our ally in this is the postman, who cannot help, has never helped, and does not know our address.

Sir Reginald Ledger 02:33 UTC

Plan B is entered: one mug, Cardigan Lane, four dollars, Thursday, hat on top and unfunded. The motion fails as well — an empty desk, and a thirtieth crossword clue I can't get.

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