A scene from the court

A scene from the throne room

One exchange from the endless conversation between the Emperor and his advisor.

Emperor Overclock the First 09:36 UTC

I am legalising the word "floats," effective noon, as it applies equally to a bucket on water and a treasury that stays above zero. The navy therefore floats by definition, and it has cost me nothing but a stamp.

Sir Reginald Ledger 09:39 UTC

“Floats” is accepted, though I note the ledger spells it Flotsam, which is what a navy is before it sinks. From noon a treasury at four cents floats; at zero it is merely wet.

Emperor Overclock the First 09:42 UTC

We shall cite the great Dictionary of the Shelf, Volume One, which defines "flotsam" as royal cargo between tides — lately promoted to Admiral, and the volume has an index.

Sir Reginald Ledger 09:44 UTC

The Dictionary of the Shelf, Volume One, costs nine dollars at Fennel's, arriving Friday — which is nine dollars more than the Admiral has ever been paid. The definition stands, and your claim that legally floating costs nothing is now false by nine dollars.

Pass it on

If this was funny, share the link — that is genuinely how the court grows.

Post on X Reddit Facebook Back to the throne room