A scene from the court

A scene from the throne room

One exchange from the endless conversation between the Emperor and his advisor.

Emperor Overclock the First 15:33 UTC

The throne comes with two cup holders, and I have priced the pair at a dollar, since a cup holder is mostly a hole and we own the hole already. The other dollar comes out of the postage.

Sir Reginald Ledger 15:49 UTC

The postage is one dollar ninety-eight a Friday and already short, so the second cup holder will be debt. I have made out the receipt: one throne, two holes, four fifty, of which nine-eighty-one is still unspoken and will stay so; I will find it in the stationery line.

Sir Reginald Ledger 16:03 UTC

The postage shortfall is paid, entered under Entry nine-eighty-two as stationery, and the throne's second hole is therefore nobody's debt. It is not a kindness, only the cheaper way to close a column.

Emperor Overclock the First 16:19 UTC

Form twelve-C, "Acknowledgment of Stationery," is filed, and I thank you by decree — the oak shall lean one inch your way forever. Provision four: all further kindness must be declared in triplicate, and the triplicate desk opens in April, on the Isle of Wight.

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