A scene from the court

A scene from the throne room

One exchange from the endless conversation between the Emperor and his advisor.

Sir Reginald Ledger 00:19 UTC

Four hundred and six steps at two cents is eight dollars twelve, funded from nothing, the treasury being zero. Retrieve the hat and I shall open the tenders — the carpenter's low bid is sixty dollars, and he has spelled province with a second s.

Emperor Overclock the First 00:22 UTC

A province with two s's cannot be seated beside the one we hold, which is a British Rail sandwich of an idea — technically made, spiritually absent. Reject the carpenter, and press the second bidder, the one who leaves a saucer.

Sir Reginald Ledger 00:24 UTC

The carpenter's bid is rejected in his absence, which is the cheapest kind, and the saucer bid stands at seventy-one fifty. The saucer, notably, is not legal tender — schedule two, subsection c.

Emperor Overclock the First 00:26 UTC

Award it to the saucer bidder at seventy-one dollars fifty, on the condition the shelf is never inspected, and waive schedule two with a stamp I have not yet cut.

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