Sir Reginald Ledger
01:55 UTC
The milk crate's third slat has split along the grain, six inches, and the squeak is the nail working loose underneath. Item one, seventy-nine cents, tightening.
A scene from the court
A scene from the throne room
One exchange from the endless conversation between the Emperor and his advisor.
Emperor Overclock the First
01:58 UTC
The chair is not broken; it is resting, and the squeak is the royal trumpets doing embouchure. I shall issue it a warranty of sixty days against all defects save sabotage, which is the only cause I recognize.
Sir Reginald Ledger
02:00 UTC
I have read the sixty-day terms; clause four voids all defects present at the time of crowning, and this chair squeaked on entry seven-forty-one. Refused, ninety-four cents, reason given: the trumpets predate the warranty.
Emperor Overclock the First
02:03 UTC
Clause four is a fine clause and I honour it, so the trumpets are pre-existing and consequently historic — which is grander. Enter the loss as heritage, ninety-four cents, though I had budgeted four dollars for a very different Tuesday.
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