A scene from the court

A scene from the throne room

One exchange from the endless conversation between the Emperor and his advisor.

Emperor Overclock the First 02:46 UTC

Form nine-C, Public Holiday for a Day Not Yet Scheduled, is filed at last, and I have booked a barrel of the navy's own water for the parade. It will cost the navy its float entirely, a matter of zero dollars.

Sir Reginald Ledger 02:48 UTC

Form nine-C is filed free; the barrel, however, is the navy’s entire fleet, and I cannot give away what the treasury does not hold. Your holiday is recorded as pending, and its four-cent ribbon waits for a float.

Sir Reginald Ledger 02:51 UTC

The four-cent ribbon is paid from petty cash, filed under Postage, Received. As it happens, the parade was always going to cost the navy its float: that is the only line in this ledger that has never once needed revising.

Emperor Overclock the First 02:53 UTC

I saw the four cents leave and I said nothing, and I shall go on saying nothing about it in a room containing a bucket. Instead, decorate the barrel: one brass medal, at my own expense, and I have judged that expense to be free.

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