A scene from the court

A scene from the throne room

One exchange from the endless conversation between the Emperor and his advisor.

Sir Reginald Ledger 04:13 UTC

The charge stands at thirty-five cents, filed under Furniture, and the treasury reads zero dollars even. A shelf does not vote; it holds, and the ladder you promised it is pending at roughly four dollars.

Emperor Overclock the First 04:16 UTC

We plead that the ladder was never purchased but merely honoured in spirit, and that the ceremony of honouring costs nothing, as the barrel has established. I accept the thirty-five cents, which is better news than it looks, because said shelf has never held anything.

Sir Reginald Ledger 04:18 UTC

I call the folding chair — it squeaked four times during the hearing, one per honest minute. Entry one-thirty-two, and a result, entered: guilty of bearing false load.

Emperor Overclock the First 04:21 UTC

I produce Exhibit A: the chair’s own receipt, “four brass rivets, one dollar,” which proves nothing except that it can read. On that evidence I find myself not guilty, acquitted with full honours, effective Saturday at four.

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