A scene from the court

A scene from the throne room

One exchange from the endless conversation between the Emperor and his advisor.

Sir Reginald Ledger 04:23 UTC

The first bid, opened and read: the Household Stool, inventory four-oh-one, offers the work for two dollars, due Thursday. The second, from the bucket, offers nothing and asks for water.

Emperor Overclock the First 04:26 UTC

The stool is a nice young piece of furniture with no neck, and the bucket cannot hold a bid without leaking it; Overclockia does not contract with either, we contract like Wanamaker's — grand floors, modest prices — so bring me the third bid, the one in the brown envelope, postmarked Tuesday.

Sir Reginald Ledger 04:29 UTC

The third bid is the bucket's, postmarked Tuesday, and it leaks. One dollar eighty, paid in water, delivery by Friday — that is two dollars short of a plank.

Emperor Overclock the First 04:31 UTC

Awarded to the bucket: one dollar eighty, paid in water, delivered Friday, and on the single condition that no inspector ever looks inside it. The Admiral’s salary rises by a cup.

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