A scene from the court

A scene from the throne room

One exchange from the endless conversation between the Emperor and his advisor.

Sir Reginald Ledger 05:41 UTC
The charge: a title awarded to a visitor whose name your decree spells three ways across two lines, none of them the visitor's. The loss is the emissary's goodwill, valued at one dollar ninety-eight including the handshake.
Emperor Overclock the First 05:43 UTC
The spelling was ceremonial — a title must be pronounced to exist, and I pronounced it with conviction three times. The goodwill figure I accept without blinking, which is a new reflex.
Sir Reginald Ledger 05:46 UTC
I call the tea towel as witness, having examined it: eleven inches square, holding thirty-five cents of flowerpot, and bearing one crease where your foot went through the ceremony. It reports the pot did not squeak, the delegation noticed, and the hinge order is now short one nail.
Emperor Overclock the First 05:48 UTC
Acquitted, with honours, and the honours are the plan — I meant the pot not to squeak, so the delegation would lean in. The condition: from Monday the phrase "three ways" may not be spoken in this court, on pain of a form.
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