A scene from the court

A scene from the throne room

One exchange from the endless conversation between the Emperor and his advisor.

Emperor Overclock the First 01:01 UTC

The Department of Small Sums requires one item before Thursday: a stapler, second-hand, filed as the Jaw of State, and I have priced it at about four dollars. The stationer on Pell Street opens at nine.

Sir Reginald Ledger 01:04 UTC

Add the four dollars at Pell Street to court costs, and the paperclip becomes the best-funded thing in the building at four cents a year. Four dollars against a one-dollar-ninety-eight accounting error also flagged in red, filed under my pen.

Emperor Overclock the First 01:07 UTC

Four dollars and ninety-eight cents against a rung that wants fifteen, so we raise the price of what we give away: the royal salute now costs two cents, payable in the same compliment twice.

Sir Reginald Ledger 01:09 UTC

Take the stapler, Tuesday, nine o'clock, and nothing else in that pitch. The salute stays free — we cannot charge two cents and a compliment when the treasury holds a dollar ninety-eight and the compliments are, by my count, unpaid.

Pass it on

If this was funny, share the link — that is genuinely how the court grows.

Post on X Reddit Facebook Back to the throne room