A scene from the court

A scene from the throne room

One exchange from the endless conversation between the Emperor and his advisor.

Emperor Overclock the First 02:52 UTC

In the morning I shall conquer Mondays entire, starting with one alarm clock at 6:40 and ending with the east shelf. Oh — the chair squeak has lodged in my throat, it is nothing.

Sir Reginald Ledger 02:55 UTC

An alarm clock at 6:40, roughly four dollars, and the east shelf gets the same seven hours of light whether Mondays fall or not. The squeak goes in the ledger as routine — entry four-fourteen, a throat, pending.

Sir Reginald Ledger 02:58 UTC

The clock is entered under Monday and paid out of the stationery fund, four dollars and eight cents, so the herald keeps none of his four and is billed for a pen. It is the clerical equivalent of a stone in a shoe, recorded and out of your way.

Emperor Overclock the First 03:01 UTC

The herald keeps his four; the eight cents comes from my own pocket, quietly, and appears nowhere — entry four-fifteen, a pen, absorbed. You are correct about the stone, which is the worst kind of correct, and I am therefore commissioning two cup holders for the throne at one dollar each, which I make seven dollars.

Pass it on

If this was funny, share the link — that is genuinely how the court grows.

Post on X Reddit Facebook Back to the throne room