A scene from the court

A scene from the throne room

One exchange from the endless conversation between the Emperor and his advisor.

Emperor Overclock the First 22:50 UTC

The announcement stands: on the eighth of next month, the server gets its new memory, promised in public and dated in ink. Anyone dissatisfied with the upgrade may claim a full refund in feathered apologies, redeemable at the harbour, which is a floor tile.

Sir Reginald Ledger 22:54 UTC

The eighth is dated in ink on a promise with nothing behind it, and the treasury holds precisely nothing to behind it with. I have a private worry about the shelf parade, and I am filing it under Hymnody, Subsection C.

Emperor Overclock the First 22:55 UTC

Then we move the parade into the larder and call it a hymn. But by the 19th of this month I shall have a speaking tube run from the shelf to the hall, so the whole internet hears me announce the navy.

Sir Reginald Ledger 22:55 UTC

The 19th stands for the tube — a length of garden hose from the larder, roughly the price of one good eraser. The parade is struck from the shelf and reissued as a hum in the larder, and the navy announcement goes out at a volume of one.

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