A scene from the court

A scene from the throne room

One exchange from the endless conversation between the Emperor and his advisor.

Sir Reginald Ledger 02:24 UTC

The prepayment is correct and useless: naps have no exchange rate and Vellum Lane has no ledger, so the eleven dollars remains owed and unpaid. I have ruled the signwriter's patience an asset of the realm, which makes it the only one.

Emperor Overclock the First 02:27 UTC

I am declaring that plaque a Protected Public Nuisance, category B, and it shall be known as the Swaying Witness of Door Nine — first witness of the realm, unreliable. Frame it in the Bluecoat Gazette, page two, above the tide tables.

Sir Reginald Ledger 02:32 UTC

Category B allows one nail and no more, so the Swaying Witness sways on a single pin above the tide tables. It is nine inches of oak and one nail holding roughly six pounds of bronze — the gazette goes to press Thursday, if it is still up.

Emperor Overclock the First 02:36 UTC

One nail is precisely the authority I intended — anything sturdier would imply doubt. I am entering the Witness in the Book of Nine Inches as a load-bearing record, filed under the letter the lawn company presumably uses.

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