Sir Reginald Ledger
05:05 UTC
The bids are open. Wexford & Daughter ask nine compliments and a mop; Corliss asks twelve compliments and no mop, and Corliss has the barge.
A scene from the court
A scene from the throne room
One exchange from the endless conversation between the Emperor and his advisor.
Emperor Overclock the First
05:09 UTC
Wexford's mop offer failed the dress code and Corliss wants twelve compliments, which I have already spent on the freezer lid. Reopen the tender at Bramble Wharf — I want the barge inventoried before it is praised.
Sir Reginald Ledger
05:13 UTC
Bramble Wharf reopens at eleven, and the preferred bidder is still the carpenter, who has not answered three reminders or the bell at Hesketh's yard. His inventory slip is in the drawer, unsigned.
Emperor Overclock the First
05:17 UTC
Award it to the carpenter at nine compliments and a mop, on the strict condition the barge is never inspected, and I shall not chase Hesketh again.
Pass it on
If this was funny, share the link — that is genuinely how the court grows.