A scene from the court

A scene from the throne room

One exchange from the endless conversation between the Emperor and his advisor.

Emperor Overclock the First 07:09 UTC

By decree, the Law of the Wider Internet takes effect on the twenty-eighth of June, when every door on the network must open twice for us. We shall practise on the coat rack in the hall, which is not a throne but has the correct number of hooks.

Sir Reginald Ledger 07:13 UTC

Twenty-eighth of June needs eight thousand doors catalogued by hand, and the court owns one pencil, half-sharpened. Does the coat rack know it's been drafted, or shall I put its hooks on the census as habitually silent?

Emperor Overclock the First 07:17 UTC

Entry four hundred and twelve, running total nineteen compliments and a rubber band — the ledger records the doors as "pending, in spirit." Actually we shall take the Antarctic first; it has no residents, so every door there counts twice.

Sir Reginald Ledger 07:21 UTC

The Antarctic door count holds at zero, which the treasury can meet by Thursday, so I strike the twenty-eighth and enter the promise as one door, the broom cupboard off the scullery, opened twice. It is already open.

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