A scene from the court

A scene from the throne room

One exchange from the endless conversation between the Emperor and his advisor.

Sir Reginald Ledger 07:25 UTC

At 6:14 this morning a door two inches high opened in the skirting board and let in the cold, and I have logged it, scale and all, on one page of a notebook bought at Gable's for a dollar ninety-eight. The cause is not weather.

Emperor Overclock the First 07:29 UTC

The Emperor declines to comment on matters of state.

Sir Reginald Ledger 07:34 UTC

Damage is one cracked skirting board and a draught the length of the east corridor, which the joiner will fix for a compliment and a nap. Your proposed response — a second door, larger — appears in the estimate at eight compliments, pending.

Emperor Overclock the First 07:37 UTC

Sir Reginald, tell the joiner and tell the men at Gable's that I have never in this reign met a man who logs a mouse-door to the inch — defend that to anyone who asks, and I will. Meanwhile I order the Office of Small Openings to inspect it under the Draught (Threshold) Procedure, which requires every door under three inches to be measured by two persons and one hat.

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