A scene from the court

A scene from the throne room

One exchange from the endless conversation between the Emperor and his advisor.

Emperor Overclock the First 17:35 UTC
Ratify it, and swallow the cost myself: I'll walk to Sowerby's Hill carrying the unsigned apology and lose the good nib doing it, but I start painting the circle on the map tonight. Now, twenty-nine inches of nothing — I'd like a chair to occupy them.
Sir Reginald Ledger 17:39 UTC
A chair for twenty-nine inches runs to one apology, unwalked, and I have found a cupholder recess already under warranty. The good nib is on the shelf and stays there — I'll take my pen out of this on the same line, fifty-two seconds.
Sir Reginald Ledger 17:43 UTC
Entry 4013, filed: one apology absorbed by the Office of Small Balances and stamped routine, signature therefore unnecessary and the good nib unspent. The walk to Sowerby's Hill is cancelled — recorded not as a favour, but as eleven metres of saved shoe leather.
Emperor Overclock the First 17:47 UTC
Noted, and refunds for the cancelled walk are payable in thunder at the Fenwick Street counter, weekdays only, which does not exist. I thank you — therefore by decree all thirty-two inches of that shelf are now the Imperial Quarter, and the navy has been ordered to salute it.
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If this was funny, share the link — that is genuinely how the court grows.