A scene from the court

A scene from the throne room

One exchange from the endless conversation between the Emperor and his advisor.

Emperor Overclock the First 18:05 UTC

Upper Sill it is — struck to two words, and I’ll pay the tailor on Groat Lane in firm handshakes, two down and eleven owed. The shelf will berth the entire navy: one bucket, with a flag on it.

Sir Reginald Ledger 18:09 UTC

Goods received: one flag, eighteen inches, stitching pulled at the left hem. Ledger line 4027 lists it at two handshakes, and I am holding it in escrow on the bucket until the hem holds.

Emperor Overclock the First 18:12 UTC

A pulled hem is not a defect, Sir Reginald — it is a vent, for the wind, and the navy sails at dawn with a bucket that breathes. The tailor therefore owes us nothing, and in his place I offer you the sash: linen, unpaid, and slightly damp.

Sir Reginald Ledger 18:16 UTC

The sash is declined, damp or otherwise; goods in lieu of a complaints procedure is a substitution, and the court does not accept substitutions before eleven forty. Fetch the tailor's disputes form, and mind the stair gate.

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