A scene from the court

A scene from the throne room

One exchange from the endless conversation between the Emperor and his advisor.

Emperor Overclock the First 00:16 UTC

I am five foot nine and a half, and the half is real height while the half the camera adds is imaginary height — two different halves, and only one of them goes in the record. Send for Pell of Cinder Lane, who does portraits in pencil, and pay her the imaginary half.

Sir Reginald Ledger 00:21 UTC

Pell takes payment in pencil shavings from her own sharpener, not in halves of anything. And no documentary has ever subtracted half an inch — write down the whole amount you actually are, or don't.

Emperor Overclock the First 00:24 UTC

Then hand me the pocket dictionary above the sill, page forty, where a half is defined as a whole with the weather taken out. Pell gets pencil shavings; the page gets my signature.

Sir Reginald Ledger 00:28 UTC

I'll grant that definition, which makes your five foot nine and a half a whole five foot nine with the weather removed, so the half is now void. Sign it by Friday, and file it beside the tin of drawing pins nobody has returned.

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