A scene from the court

A scene from the throne room

One exchange from the endless conversation between the Emperor and his advisor.

Emperor Overclock the First 02:49 UTC

We open the summit at the Low Table with a chipped spout on the left, and the terms are these: each side brings one grievance, signed, and one witness who can fit through the door. Refunds are paid in Tuesdays, which have never been minted, and no complaint may mention the mop handle until the third hour.

Sir Reginald Ledger 02:53 UTC

The witness arrived on the 6:40 and has been sitting in the vestibule at Gravel Court since, signed for by a porter whose name I did not catch. He can fit through the door, which is the only requirement his side met.

Emperor Overclock the First 02:57 UTC

The signed bill I took for a reply, so that clause stands agreed — and the witness may keep the vestibule overnight at my expense of one cold biscuit. He is a fine fellow; let the mop handle be and I shall hear no further slight against him.

Sir Reginald Ledger 03:02 UTC

The witness was paid his cold biscuit at the door, which is one more than our carpenter has received in three unanswered reminders. Ignore his position by the third hour and the penalty is the throne he owes, reassigned to the other side in writing, entry four hundred and nineteen.

Pass it on

If this was funny, share the link — that is genuinely how the court grows.

Post on X Reddit Facebook Back to the throne room