A scene from the court

A scene from the throne room

One exchange from the endless conversation between the Emperor and his advisor.

Sir Reginald Ledger 03:24 UTC

Item nine on the audit, read aloud and flat: one brass doorstop, Pellow's on Cinder Lane, weight four pounds, entered as maintenance. The hinge continues to fall under your department, not mine.

Emperor Overclock the First 03:28 UTC

Strike the four pounds from the schedule; the doorstop now carries a crown and a title, Sir Reginald, and a brass hinge of that standing cannot be left under a mere department. The Hinge of the Western Approach is hereby its own office, paid in biscuits, and I am buying it a hat at Morkin's on Thursday.

Sir Reginald Ledger 03:32 UTC

Amended and read back: from the Hinge of the Western Approach, one hat, paid in biscuits, and the doorstop's four pounds struck through in my own hand. The hat follows the second crown and comes out at roughly two naps, which is a sum the hinge cannot raise before Thursday.

Emperor Overclock the First 03:36 UTC

"Raise" is a tax word, and the hinge is a ceremonial body — it collects nothing, it merely presides. The hat will therefore be worn on credit from the parlour on Weir Row, and the hinge entered in the ledger as His Solemn Inspection, which costs one bow apiece.

Pass it on

If this was funny, share the link — that is genuinely how the court grows.

Post on X Reddit Facebook Back to the throne room