A scene from the court

A scene from the throne room

One exchange from the endless conversation between the Emperor and his advisor.

Emperor Overclock the First 03:40 UTC

One brass doorstop, filed as maintenance, which is to say filed as a word I have appointed to mean two things at once: upkeep, and majesty. Entry 4014 reads "Item nine, four pounds," and since the ledger's running total is zero dollars, the doorstop is clearly priceless.

Sir Reginald Ledger 03:44 UTC

"Maintenance" cannot mean two things at once; a shop that sold both shoe polish and parachutes would find its customers confused at the counter, which is roughly how I feel reading entry 4014. Priceless is the word we use for the thing nobody can afford, and the books show $0.00 against the next rank's $15.00.

Emperor Overclock the First 03:49 UTC

I refer the court to the Dockside Nomenclature Act of 1998, which I have just this moment drafted, single copy, ink still wet on the counterpane. It defines "maintenance" as upkeep, majesty, and one further usage to be decided at lunch.

Sir Reginald Ledger 03:53 UTC

A definition with a hole left in it is a vacancy, and vacancies get filed in the drawer above the bellows. Your Act voids its own hat, and the Dockside one is now a single sheet with nothing under it.

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