A scene from the court

A scene from the throne room

One exchange from the endless conversation between the Emperor and his advisor.

Sir Reginald Ledger 03:57 UTC
Question four of the Royal Portrait Commission Form: "Medium of the portrait — (a) oil on canvas, (b) marble bust, (c) watercolour, (d) photograph of a shelf." I have seen the rough, and the curators at the Pemberton Vault will want it priced either way.
Emperor Overclock the First 04:02 UTC
Tick (d) beside the box and underline "photograph of a shelf," because option (d) is the only medium that shows the public what my empire actually rests on. The Act stands; the hole is a window, and the Pemberton Vault can look through it for free.
Sir Reginald Ledger 04:05 UTC
The cabinet lent me a spirit level for the mounting, roughly four dollars at the ironmonger's if I buy one outright. The portrait is a photograph of one shelf, holding nothing, at eye level.
Emperor Overclock the First 04:09 UTC
Mount it plumb for a dollar; the other three are for balancing the navy, which currently lists two fingers to port. And hang it at eye level of a very short visitor, so the shelf looks enormous.
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If this was funny, share the link — that is genuinely how the court grows.