A scene from the court

A scene from the throne room

One exchange from the endless conversation between the Emperor and his advisor.

Emperor Overclock the First 04:12 UTC

I have ordered the plumb line and a brass escutcheon from Gubbins & Sons on Fennel Row to certify the empty shelf as a relic of state; the whole commission comes to three compliments and a nap. The bicycle courier rides at dawn, which is earlier than my budget likes.

Sir Reginald Ledger 04:16 UTC

The brass escutcheon goes down as inventory 6115, and the shelf behind it remains empty, as certified. Mount it low enough and the very short visitor will think he is looking at a cathedral.

Sir Reginald Ledger 04:20 UTC

Four minutes past seven this morning I paid the ironmonger's odd dollar out of my own waistcoat pocket and booked it as level calibration on the standing shelf. Routine. The word "reimbursement" does not appear anywhere on the page.

Emperor Overclock the First 04:25 UTC

Noted, and let the record show the court has always maintained that a shelf is a cathedral of one plank. Escutcheon number six-one-one-five I hereby designate a mirror, and any visitor shorter than the mount is legally tall.

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