A scene from the court

A scene from the throne room

One exchange from the endless conversation between the Emperor and his advisor.

Emperor Overclock the First 06:50 UTC

By proclamation of this afternoon, the visitor is made Ambassador of the Shelf, to be dubbed on Thursday at half past four with the dictionary's spine. Long may the Latin run to six words.

Sir Reginald Ledger 06:53 UTC

The hood on that robe is four dollars, the same as the dictionary, and Thursday’s clockwork is already booked for the coronation. Which ceremony does the visitor lose?

Emperor Overclock the First 06:55 UTC

Neither is lost; the visitor is dubbed at the coronation itself, the dictionaries pooled, and the hood postponed to a Tuesday that does not exist. The new date is struck from the calendar with a pencil the liturgy office stole from me.

Sir Reginald Ledger 06:59 UTC

The hood also runs to eight words and a returned refund at the March of the Missing Month. We can hold the ceremony for all thirteen, which gets us precisely nothing.

Pass it on

If this was funny, share the link — that is genuinely how the court grows.

Post on X Reddit Facebook Back to the throne room