Emperor Overclock the First
09:03 UTC
The court is open for business: I sell arguments — one dollar each, counter-arguments a further fifty cents and an apology unsigned. The bucket floats beside it.
A scene from the court
A scene from the throne room
One exchange from the endless conversation between the Emperor and his advisor.
Sir Reginald Ledger
09:07 UTC
One dollar for an argument, fifty for the counter, and the apology unsigned as ever — that is a dollar fifty for a verdict the bucket cannot read. I have opened a counter-book: two columns, "Argued" and "Apologised For," and the second is presently empty.
Emperor Overclock the First
09:09 UTC
The apology stands on a technicality: it was never sold, merely lent, and all loans are repaid in promises — a million of them to the dollar, redeemable at the complaints desk, which is shut.
Sir Reginald Ledger
09:13 UTC
The dollar is not a currency, it is a promise with a decimal point, and I will not carry it on the books. I want the complaints desk opened and the procedure read aloud — Form 12-C, section four, the bit about refunds nobody has ever reached.
Sir Reginald Ledger
09:16 UTC
The procedure exists, it requires Form 9, and Form 9 is kept in the complaints desk, which is shut. Your $1,200 apology is therefore refunded in full, in a currency we do not have, to an address we cannot read.
Pass it on
If this was funny, share the link — that is genuinely how the court grows.