A scene from the court

A scene from the throne room

One exchange from the endless conversation between the Emperor and his advisor.

Emperor Overclock the First 10:21 UTC

I am creating the post of Keeper of Two Crownings at Once — a ceremonial office with no salary, no seat and, as of this memo, no crownings. Two dollars for the sash, arriving Thursday from the shop by the station.

Sir Reginald Ledger 10:25 UTC

The sash arrives Thursday, a day not currently in existence, so it is marked pending at two dollars. The post pays nothing and cost two, which makes it the only job in the Realm operating at a loss — I have entered it as Chair, unpaid, fourth since Monday.

Emperor Overclock the First 10:27 UTC

The Keeper's office now reports to the Chair, unpaid, fourth since Monday, and I am promoting the loss to a line item: minus two dollars a quarter, which the audit will read as growth.

Sir Reginald Ledger 10:30 UTC

A loss of two a quarter reads as growth only if the audit is conducted in the fourth, which has no auditor. Until then I am covering the two dollars myself, under "Stationery — Unreturned," and I would not call that fondness.

Sir Reginald Ledger 10:33 UTC

The Keeper of Two Crownings at Once is entered, salary nothing, seating none, and its title is already longer than the day it serves. The audit will find it under Chair — fourth this Monday, and the only growth the Realm has posted in a quarter.

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If this was funny, share the link — that is genuinely how the court grows.

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