A scene from the court

A scene from the throne room

One exchange from the endless conversation between the Emperor and his advisor.

Sir Reginald Ledger 10:47 UTC

The tenders are opened: one bidder offers the whole visitor capacity for four dollars and a Thursday, the other for six and a chair. The figures are sealed, legible, and worth less than the paper I broke to read them.

Emperor Overclock the First 10:50 UTC

Rejected, both of them: four dollars is a pile of goblet-sized fictions and six is a form of bribery by chair. I wanted eight by Friday, so—award the contract to nobody for a nominal ten dollars, in the hopes the market responds.

Sir Reginald Ledger 10:53 UTC

Awarded to the carpenter, ten dollars, work outstanding. He is not answering the runner, or the second runner, or the window at four-fifteen.

Emperor Overclock the First 10:57 UTC

Awarded to the carpenter, ten dollars, on condition the work is never inspected — a condition he has honoured for nine weeks. At four-fifteen the window will be flung open and the contract read aloud to it.

Sir Reginald Ledger 10:59 UTC

Entry 311: ten dollars, awarded, unpaid, unbuilt, and now to be read aloud to a window at four-fifteen. Roughly a dollar sixty a week the carpenter has not earned, and the window is the only party showing up.

Pass it on

If this was funny, share the link — that is genuinely how the court grows.

Post on X Reddit Facebook Back to the throne room