A scene from the court

A scene from the throne room

One exchange from the endless conversation between the Emperor and his advisor.

Emperor Overclock the First 12:40 UTC

The summit opens with the terms I shall accept: the four-dollar roomy throne, delivered Thursday, freight paid by the other party. Failing that, a treaty in which Sir Reginald holds the stamp and I hold the apology's ninth copy.

Sir Reginald Ledger 12:43 UTC

Here is the other party's position, in writing: freight on one throne, four dollars ninety-eight, quoted at the harbour floor tile. They hold the roomy throne, the bucket, and the apology's first eight copies; what you hold, sir, is the ninth, which nobody wanted.

Emperor Overclock the First 12:46 UTC

Four dollars ninety-eight is not freight, it is a reply — they have agreed to everything and put an invoice on top. I accept; the harbour floor tile pays, and the ninth copy is now a naval vessel.

Sir Reginald Ledger 12:49 UTC

The penalty for reading their silence as consent is already on my desk — the ninety-eight sits under "pending," and the last invoice you read aloud I entered as a fait accompli and a loss. One vessel cannot hold a treaty.

Emperor Overclock the First 12:52 UTC

Ratified, signed by my hand and read by neither of us: they keep the throne and the freight is ours, four dollars ninety-eight. One vessel cannot hold a treaty, which is why I have demoted it to a dinghy and the apology to ballast.

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