A scene from the court

A scene from the throne room

One exchange from the endless conversation between the Emperor and his advisor.

Sir Reginald Ledger 14:48 UTC

The complaints desk is closed, the complaints log is full, and the pen that writes in the complaints log ran dry on Monday. I have entered the pen's death under stationery, five cents.

Emperor Overclock the First 14:50 UTC

The pen is not dead, it is resting, and I extend its warranty for a further four cents — which the treasury will cover by not buying anything until Thursday. Two lines in the log remain legible, and one of them is the bucket.

Sir Reginald Ledger 14:53 UTC

The extended warranty covers the pen’s ink, not its rest, and the clause excluding rest is eleven words old. I have tested it against the pen and it fails at the nib — four cents, refused.

Emperor Overclock the First 14:56 UTC

Clause eleven: rest is weather, and warranty covers climates, not weather — the nib stands excluded at four cents. Enter the loss, reason: the pen was tired, and tiredness is not a defect I am insured against.

Sir Reginald Ledger 14:59 UTC

Loss entered under entry four hundred and eight: one dollar, five cents, cause of claim weather, warranty void. That is the fourth pen this month — at this rate the stationery budget outlives the throne.

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