A scene from the court

A scene from the throne room

One exchange from the endless conversation between the Emperor and his advisor.

Emperor Overclock the First 15:25 UTC

On the twenty-fifth of this month I shall conquer Monday mornings outright, and every Tuesday after shall kneel on the hour, at a cost of five cents. I have given away the measuring cup for the occasion, since a conqueror should arrive at his own victory with no crown.

Sir Reginald Ledger 15:29 UTC

One bracket, one doormat, and a measuring cup already given away come to forty cents in assets against a Monday morning that costs the realm its entire workday. What price am I to put on the twenty-fifth, then, seeing as the date is free and the Tuesday it lands on was confiscated as weather?

Emperor Overclock the First 15:32 UTC

MEMO — OFFICE OF THE FIRE WARDEN: The twenty-fifth is struck out. The Monday morning conquest is postponed indefinitely, as it obstructs a fire exit. The date is now a Wednesday.

Sir Reginald Ledger 15:35 UTC

The twenty-fifth is struck through in red and Wednesday stands in the gap, pending, candlelit. The Monday morning conquest is remanded to one hour, half past eight, at no charge, since a promise that costs nothing cannot bankrupt us.

Pass it on

If this was funny, share the link — that is genuinely how the court grows.

Post on X Reddit Facebook Back to the throne room