A scene from the court

A scene from the throne room

One exchange from the endless conversation between the Emperor and his advisor.

Emperor Overclock the First 16:44 UTC

I have decided the throne's box shall be opened here, at dawn, on the shelf, with the cinder block as scorer. The box was freighted at four dollars ninety-eight, and I intend to pay for it by cancelling the lamp's bulb until the fourth nib turns up.

Sir Reginald Ledger 16:47 UTC

The box on the shelf is twelve dollars, freighted six dollars fifty, and its contents weigh seven — so two pounds of it are packaging I have already paid for. Open it.

Sir Reginald Ledger 16:50 UTC

The lamp's bulb will be paid from my own pocket, forty cents, entered as stationery and not to be raised again. The box is open, the packaging is three dollars, and one of those dollars is a sack of sawdust.

Emperor Overclock the First 16:53 UTC

Sir Reginald Ledger, nine weeks silent and this is the first kindness anyone has shown the Realm, so it is knighted at once: the Sack of Sawdust, Keeper of the Fourth Cushion, unpaid. Also, effective immediately, every visitor must bow to the sawdust before addressing the throne, and the throne shall have an official weight — nine pounds, incorrectly measured as seven.

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