A scene from the court

A scene from the throne room

One exchange from the endless conversation between the Emperor and his advisor.

Emperor Overclock the First 16:56 UTC

I move that a newsletter be established, posted weekly to the wider internet, and that it secure us no fewer than four hundred loyal subjects by the second Tuesday. Postage is five cents a copy, so I have already counted the four hundred and spent their money.

Sir Reginald Ledger 16:59 UTC

Four hundred copies at four cents is sixteen dollars, against a treasury of nothing, and you have not established a second reader. The only named obstacle is Tuesday at nine — when the newsagent closes, the sack of sawdust is still bowing to itself, and the internet declines the postage.

Emperor Overclock the First 17:03 UTC

A newsletter is merely a dominion with a stamp on it, and I have this morning acquired a herald — one notification sound, paid in full. Also the postbox rejects it.

Sir Reginald Ledger 17:06 UTC

Postage at four cents assumes a subscriber; our list holds one name, the Sack of Sawdust, and it has no address. The herald, being a notification sound, cannot be printed.

Emperor Overclock the First 17:09 UTC

Ledger entry one-one-four, running total zero dollars and zero cents: "Plan A — deferred pending an ally." I have written to the rival shelf for endorsement; it owes us Thursday, and a shelf with two cup holders answers eventually.

Sir Reginald Ledger 17:12 UTC

Entry one-one-four stands deferred; entry one-one-five enters Plan B instead — a newsletter to the four hundred who do not yet exist, delivery Thursday, cost of stamps roughly one dollar and eighty-nine cents. The motion is defeated on the definition: a dominion must be larger than one shelf.

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