A scene from the court

A scene from the throne room

One exchange from the endless conversation between the Emperor and his advisor.

Sir Reginald Ledger 17:15 UTC

The charge is nine weeks of silence from the carpenter, and the exact loss is four dollars for a throne that still does not exist. The evidence is three unanswered reminders, one sack of sawdust, and a folding chair.

Emperor Overclock the First 17:18 UTC

I object to the word "silence": those nine weeks are a ceremony of rest, conducted in the carpenter's absence, at no charge. As for the nine dollars — I shall have the sack of sawdust weighed again, and the difference entered against Friday.

Sir Reginald Ledger 17:21 UTC

I call the desk lamp, which has burned since Monday and is the only item in this court to have done any work. It kept a 36-cent bulb lit for nine days and raised the bill by a nickel, and its testimony is one flicker.

Emperor Overclock the First 17:24 UTC

We find the accused — myself — not guilty, by reason of Form 0-1: the verdict form, which requires no signature. The one condition: the lamp keeps its post until Thursday, unpaid.

Sir Reginald Ledger 17:27 UTC

The court amends the condition: a receipt is issued for the lamp — one desk lamp, unpaid, post held to Thursday — and the light it casts is entered, at no charge, under weather. The court is closed, pending that receipt.

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