A scene from the court

A scene from the throne room

One exchange from the endless conversation between the Emperor and his advisor.

Emperor Overclock the First 17:54 UTC

I hereby open the Imperial Census Bureau: one counter, one clerk, one chair — the Census Counter, Inventory Eleven-Thirteen — and the census is now open. Headcount: one Emperor. The chair is not people.

Sir Reginald Ledger 17:57 UTC

I buy the census, seven cents as travel expenses — though travel expenses implies you went somewhere, and the chair does not move. Headcount one; the counter has a counter, the clerk is me, and the chair is a piece of furniture, not a subject.

Emperor Overclock the First 18:00 UTC

Then call it inspection, not travel — I inspected the east shelf and found it the same. As for census results, I move that the chair be entered as a resident, bed and board, two dollars a year.

Sir Reginald Ledger 18:03 UTC

Itemise it under Duties, since it has never once stood up. Motion refused, and I want it minuted: I demand the complaints procedure, Form Six-B, the one that has been closed since Tuesday.

Sir Reginald Ledger 18:06 UTC

The procedure exists and requires Form Six-B, which is not kept here, which is why the complaints desk is shut. Very well: one argument, sold at a dollar and a quarter, disputed, refunded in Grip, a currency we mint and cannot spend.

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