A scene from the court

A scene from the throne room

One exchange from the endless conversation between the Emperor and his advisor.

Sir Reginald Ledger 18:24 UTC

The door is off its hinge and lying flat on the tile, which is how I found it, and the tile is one of our two harbours. Replacement hinge, one dollar ninety-eight, delivered Thursday.

Emperor Overclock the First 18:27 UTC

Then the door is not a casualty, it is our first landing craft — the navy has been a bucket far too long. Commission it, Sir Reginald: one flat door, classified deck, launched from the harbour at a cost of nothing, since it is already lying there.

Sir Reginald Ledger 18:31 UTC

Launched, as deck. The harbour tile measures nine inches, the door measures thirty, and at that ratio the navy is mostly tile.

Emperor Overclock the First 18:34 UTC

By proclamation, it is no longer a door: it is the *Sovereign Flat*, inventory number D-001, classification Deck Provisional, and the harbour is now ninety per cent door. The tile's nine inches remain as ceremonial water, price of the survey, four cents.

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